Friday Fictioneers – Rosie

It’s the day for Rochelle Risoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers flash fiction challenge. This asks that we produce a piece of writing in 100 words. It’s definitely a challenge to write a story in so few words – but also great fun.

Well, here is this Friday’s photo . . .

boatpilxr_-antiqued

Copyright Georgia Koch

 

. . . and this is my offering:

The customer moseyed alongside the old barge, eyeing her with disdain. ‘Yer sure this tub still floats?’ He scratched his head, mumbling. ‘It’s nowt but a pile of old junk.  ’Ow much?’

‘Had an offer, ‘alf hour ago. Twenty grand.’

The expletives meant little to Archie. He’d rather keep Rosie than sell her to someone like that. A lick of red paint and she’d look good again. Young. They’d sail the Canals and remember the first Rosie, the Gypsy girl he’d loved for so long. She’d still be waiting for him; up there. A year, tops, the doctors said.

Word count: 100

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About milliethom

I am a reader and writer of historical fiction with a keen interest in the Earth's history and all it involves, both physically and socially. I like nothing better than to be outdoors, especially in faraway places, and baking is something I do when my eyes need respite from my computer screen.
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48 Responses to Friday Fictioneers – Rosie

  1. Oh Danny Boy says:

    A sad prognosis but a grand story.

    DJ

  2. Superb—Valuable—Well-finessed…

  3. ContactRida says:

    hahaha! loved this one because i started cursing after i read “20 grand”. so Archie definitely wouldn’t sell his boat to me either:) better to live out his remaining year with his 2 Rosies…

    • milliethom says:

      Thank you! I’d have loved to hear yor cursing. Archie definitely wouldn’t have sold Rosie to you! I’m glad you enjoyed reading it, anyway. I didn’t intend to make you curse . . . honest!

  4. Susan Langer says:

    Your sure can tell a story in 100 words. I liked it.

    • milliethom says:

      I really enjoyed writing this story, Susan. I love the black and white picture of the old boat. It lends itself to so many story possibilities – as all photos do, I suppose. I’m really glad you liked my offering. 🙂

  5. draliman says:

    I hope they keep the boat so he can live out his memories during the time he has left.
    I’ll have to find a way to use “mosey” more often 🙂

    • milliethom says:

      I’m a Lancashire lass, Ashley so I grew up in an area where many folk dropped h’s and used the word ‘nowt’. I sometimes say nowt un all! Ha! I don’t have a broad accent though – it just comes out occasionally. My husband’s a Yorkshireman, and when he says ‘nowt’ it sounds like ‘note’. There are so many different dialects here in the UK. Thank you for liking the one I did!

  6. Always love the creativity you have when it comes to writing! ❤ It's never easy to write a great story in 100 words, but you definitely nailed it!!! 😉 Good job Millie! 🙂

  7. One hundred words that tell a sad yet uplifting story. Well done!

  8. Dear Millie,

    The dialect really added to your story. Well told in a few well chosen words.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  9. mira65 says:

    beautiful but sad…

  10. I am gob-smacked, yes, gob-smacked at the way you have conveyed so much in so few words and entertaining as well. How do you do it, week after week? I feel I know the character well and have a great mental image, even though I have very little information to go on. The dialects definitely added to it, as the character developed a voice in my head, and the sad tale alluded to, pulled at my heartstrings. This is the complete Flash fiction package. Can’t wait for next Friday.

  11. smilecalm says:

    rosie’s worth
    every
    word 🙂

  12. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Millie, Love your story and I love your name – Too cool! Wonderful dialect you penned. Nan 🙂

    • milliethom says:

      Dialects are something I’m working on. The North of England ones are far easier for me than the southern ones, simply because I’m a Lancashire lass (the land of old cotton mills and wooden clogs!). I’d have to work a lot harder on the Cockney dialect, with all its rhyming slang. And if I ever wrote anything set in the U.S.A.’s Deep South, I’d be
      struggling! Thank you for the lovely comment, Nan. (Both my mum and grandma were called Millie. Mine’s just a pen name . . . but don’t tell anybody! Haha!)

  13. talesbytink says:

    Beautiful. I think the ending is uplifting, even though it’s all about love lost and death. This is a story of beauty, hope and love; not easy to write without sounding trite, but you have managed it well. I tried a 100 worded story once (and I will again!) but it was basically a plot outline. You’ve managed characterisation, story, setting, in so few words!

    • milliethom says:

      Yes, 100 words isn’t a lot to work on but, somehow, knowing that you have such a strict limit makes you think carefully about every word you write. So far, with these challenges, I’ve managed not to exceed the word limit by too much even before I’ve started to edit. I think it’s just an extra sharp pull on the reins. And interpreting the prompts is a fun way to let the imagination run wild. I’d encourage any writer to have a go simply for the practice in such skills. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Tink. I’m glad my meaning came across in the tale.

  14. penshift says:

    It’s not easy to draw people to your character in 100 words but you’ve managed it beautifully.

    • milliethom says:

      What a lovely comment. Penshift (Stephanie – if I may be so bold!). Such positive feedback is always wonderful to have. This is only my second ‘go’ at Friday Fictioneers, and I think I’ve still a lot to learn from the rest of you. I’m glad you liked my Archie.

      • penshift says:

        You know the saying ‘everyone’s a critic.’ Sometimes the biggest critic is our own self. Friday Fictioneers is a very good way to practice writing and you never know, you may turn your flash fics into something longer. Real name or penname, doesn’t bother me either way. If I didn’t want it known I wouldn’t have attached the moniker to so many accounts. 😀

      • milliethom says:

        I’ll play it safe and stick to Penshift in future – perhaps best on theChallenges. I should have thought about that earlier. Thanks for getting back to me.

  15. Margaret says:

    I’m so glad he’s going to keep her; he’ll have a wonderful year, I’m sure. I love how you’ve crafted this. It works in every way – mood, pace, character – all good, all very satisfying.

  16. adamjasonp says:

    Everyone here has already said what I was going to say!  Anyway, good work. 🙂

  17. I of July says:

    so talented… you’re the one 🙂

  18. The voice and dialect tells a story in itself. I think it brought extra light to the narrative. And why sell it if you don’t need the money.

    • milliethom says:

      I agreee with your last remark, Bjorn. Archie was only thinking of selling his boat in view of the prognosis regarding his life expectancy. The unfeeling ‘customer’ made him change his mind.

  19. Looks like his memories mean more to him than the money he could get for the boat in the short time he has left. Well done, Millie. 🙂 — Suzanne

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